Ended!

Hello peeps! How are you all? Me? My physical just fine.. but my mental maybe not. Orang cuma boleh tengok bertapa happynya saya hanya melalui luaran. But no one know what i feel actually. I dont know to who I want to share. It's too hard. Cuma di blog <> ini sahaja tempat luahan hati saya. Even menaip semua ni I'm crying sebab ingatkan hal dulu. After a relationship of almost 2 years. At the end, it didnt bring any outcome. Maybe its the right time for him untuk mulakan hidup baru dia. He just take 1 year to forget everything. Is it too easy to forget all that? And for me. I dont know how long i need to forget all this. It's not an easiest things. It's hard. I just want to say sorry for what I have did. Sebab saya hanyalah insan biasa yang buat kesilapan. I'm sorry for leaving you for 3 month before this. Bukan sengaja atau apa. But maybe you know or maybe you dont know why I did it. I know that you won't forgive me sampai bila-bila pun. Its ok. I deserve it.

this mug given by him. Still keep it. And from now on. I will put it in a box. All of your stuff except one things that you might think that I didnt like it. I still using it by the way. 

and your picture. I'm too stupid because still keep your picture in my lappy. I keep it because I just need to see your ugly + weird face that you ever did to me when I'm sulking and not in a good mood. After seeing it. It make me laugh and smile. :'(

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This lyrics of a song is the way to interpret my feelings.

Nikita Willy - Maafkan

Tlah Tiba Waktunya... Untukku menyatakan... 

Padamu sebenarnya, apa yang ku rasa... 

Maafkan hati ini yang tak bisa berhenti menyayangimu... 

Walau ku tak bisa menjadi milikmu 

Juga sebagai yang tercinta... Di hidupmu. 

Kekasih yang ku cinta 

Kekasih yang ku mau 

Ku tau saat ini... Kau masih ragu... 

Maafkan hati ini yang tak bisa berhenti menyayangimu... 

Walau ku tak bisa menjadi milikmu 

Juga sebagai yang tercinta... Di hidupmu..

Sungguh bukan maksudku... 

Untuk memaksamu menjadi milikku 

Yang slama ini sudah menemaniku 

Untuk sebagai yang tercinta... Di hatiku...

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some lyrics hoping to forget him from Geisha - Lumpuhkan Ingatkanku

Lumpuhkanlah ingatanku, hapuskan tentang dia

Hapuskan memoriku tentang dia

Hilangkanlah ingatanku jika itu tentang dia

Ku ingin ku lupakannya

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the last one is something that I hope. Jac - Jagalah Diri

Ya Tuhanku
Jagalah diri ini menempuh

Hidup sepi tabah menerima takdir

Ya Tuhanku

Ketemukanlah kami berdua nanti

Hingga itu ku mohon kau

Jagalah dirinya

Hingga itu ku mohon kau

Jagalah dirinya

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I hate to be alone actually. I hate it much because I will remember all of our memories. Sometimes saya berharap saya akan hilang ingatan. I hope to and I wish to because I want to forget the memories that we have built together. Its too hard to forget it. Tanpa dia tahu saya masih menyayangi dia. How stupid is me. It is all my fault sebab EGO. So to all peeps. Please throw away your egoist in yourself. I learn it much right now. Maybe this is me. Apa-apa masalah I just too hard nak share kat sesiapa pun even dengan "dia". Saya lebih banyak memendam masalah seorang diri. Sebab tue orang suka simpan rahsia kat me sebab I wont tell anybody. That's why I dont tell anyone also about my problem. Even to my family. I just keep it by myself. EGO! Rasanya ia semakin menjadi in myself because of this problem. I am so sorry. Take care ♥. So long. Goodbye.